Friday, June 8, 2012

Not Sure... Lol

This is my Dino-creature-humanoid-alien thingy. ^_^
Quick sketch when I was bored, lol.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Sagittarius Tattoo

One of my many henna designs over the years. This one I designed around my sun sign, Sagittarius. I used a gel ink pen from the Dollar Store. Those seem to work the best, and they look real, lol. 

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Being Inside Love

When you can think of the most disgusting, dispicable, horrible, most vile thing that ever existed in this world, and LOVE it (or send it love), then you have expressed unconditional love; divine love; agape love. Love without judgement. Because, no one is worse or better than anyone else. We all have 'bad' and 'good' in us. If you love the good, then love the bad also, and be completely 'in' LOVE! ♥ This is bliss! Pure freedom! Woot!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Spirit Painting

My finger painting, lol. I painted the background with my fingers. It's very relaxing to feel the paint squish through your fingers, hehe. The spirit and hands I used a brush... not as fun, but it gets the job done. :)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A Beautiful Star

Ballpoint Pen Drawing of a star. ^_^ Drawn at Panera Bread, accompanied by a small coffee and a cranberry-orange muffin. Yuummm!!!

Duality, Acceptance, and the Secret of the Universe!

Yep, I have learned the secret of the Universe. The holy wisdom that destroys all fear, doubt, hate, and anger. For years, I have searched for this one truth. I’ve read countless number of books and articles looking for it. I’ve tried out several different religions and ways of being, hoping that I could finally find something to comfort me… to guide me… to help me not feel so angry, lonely, and depressed all the time. I would get little glimpses of that truth here and there, and yet, it always seemed to be just out of my grasp.

So, what is this priceless piece of information that I’ve recently become aware of? Well, you’re going to laugh when I say it. It’s so simple! Probably too simple, lol.

The secret of the Universe is… love.

Yep, it’s love. Love, love, love. How could I have missed this? It’s been right in front of my face this whole time! What has kept me blinded all these years?

Hmm, well, from what I can see, duality has kept me in the dark. Haha, there’s a good New Age word for ya. I looked up the definition of duality, and it says, “the quality or condition of being dual.” I love the dictionary, lol. This is the closest I could find to explain what I’m trying to say: “The concept that the world is ruled by the antagonistic forces of good and evil.”

I went to church and learned about good vs. evil. About god vs. the devil. Right vs. wrong. Truth vs. lies. Responsibility vs. selfishness. Not only did my church teach this dualistic viewpoint, but so did my parents, school teachers, television, and books.

But, what really confused the hell out of me, was that everyone seemed to have their own definition of right vs. wrong and good vs. bad. My parents would take us out to see a movie, but according to my grandparents, that was wrong. My parents would encourage me to speak my mind and be social, but my teachers would tell me to be quiet and punish me for talking too much. My pastor would tell us not to gossip, but the ladies in church would gossip all the time, under the justification of, “I’m not gossiping, I’m just telling you this about, so and so, so you can pray for her.” So, movies were good or bad, depending on whose house I was sleeping at, talking was okay as long as I had permission, and doing wrong is okay, if you have a good reason? Nope, not confusing at all.

You see, the same ones teaching me what I shouldn’t do, were then turning around and actually doing what they told me not to. What is this… this… fucked up way of living??? Do as I say, not as I do?! No wonder I was so screwed up as a kid! And, as an adult.

What I’m getting at, is that duality is an illusion that tricks us into judging. Morality, ethics, goodness, and evil are all subjective. All based on an individual’s perspective of things. But this thinking is so ingrained in our world, that we really don’t have many examples of a different way of perceiving things. Which, is why I have been blind to this amazing truth for so long. We haven’t been able to see the forest for the trees. Too many details have prevented us from seeing the BIG picture!

So, back to love. It really is simple! You just have to open your mind a bit, and try to forget everything you’ve ever learned, lol. Actually, you have to try not to judge.

That’s the golden key to unconditional love: no judgement.

Loving everyone and everything, means just that. You must love EVERY one and EVERY thing, without judging them. My perspective is that if everything comes from the same Source, then when you break everything down to the smallest bits imaginable (or unimaginable), everything is the SAME. Sameness… Oneness… It’s what the New Age people teach over and over. But those words are just words, unless the perceiver actually understands what they mean. So, here’s my understanding, and maybe it will help somebody understand also…

·         I love love and I love hate, for they are one and the same.

·         I love truth and I love lies, for they are also both the same.

·         I love good and I love evil, for it’s hard to believe, but they are two parts of the same whole. The same!

·         I love happy, I love sad.

·         I love hope, I love fear.

·         I love god, I love the devil. SAME!!!

·         I love compassion, I love meanness.

·         I love beautiful, I love ugly.

·         I love humbleness, I love arrogance.

·         I love confidence, I love low self-esteem.

·         I love forgiveness, I love grudges.

·         I love freedom, I love slavery.

·         I love greed, and I love charity.

See, this is what I did. I took the things that I hated most in the world, and wrote down that I loved them. And an amazing thing happened. My heart literally felt lighter. Like the clich├ęd weights had been lifted off. Is this what Jesus talked about? Love your enemies? Love is crazy powerful!

To try and practice unconditional love, but still have hatred towards things in life won’t get you anywhere. It’s impossible to love unconditionally, and still carry dislikes about stuff. You have to love everything. And, when this happens, it’s the most awesome feeling in the world.

Think about this. No one is better than anyone else. We all are capable of doing wonderful things, and horrible things. Everyone has the potential in them for ‘good’ and ‘evil’. Everyone has a dark side as well as a light. And since we all come from the same place, when you hate something about someone else, you are essentially hating yourself.

Another perspective: You hate getting behind a bad driver, but to someone else, YOU are the bad driver that they hate. You hate the obnoxious nerd who rambles on about Star Wars, but you are the obnoxious guy that rambles on about sports, that the nerd hates. You hate the president for lording over everyone and messing up the country, but your kids hate you for lording over them and messing up their lives. All about perspective!

When you hate something… ANYthing… about someone else, you show your subconscious that you hate yourself, also. Because, when you hate something about someone else, your subconscious knows that you have it in you to be the same way and do the same things that you hate, therefore it concludes that you hate that part of yourself.

If you can love EVERYthing unconditionally and unjudgementally, then you feel completely loved in return, and you find the greatest peace you have ever known. And you also become freed from searching for love from others. FREEDOM!!!

I have no idea if any of that will make sense to anyone, but it’s okay. I love the people who don’t get me. Love the ones who think I’m crazy. I love all the confusion and chaos. I love it all. I love. …That is all.

***Here’s a link to an incredible story that may change your perspective about Lucifer. I actually cried while reading this, because my heart was filled with so much love.

Acceptance, nonjudging, loving unconditionally from now on!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Flower Power

A fun little painting that stems from my love of henna design. I started drawing these designs when I was 11 and continue to do them today. Especially, when I can't think of anything else to do. It's very meditative, and helps me let go of everything while letting my creativity flow.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Trying Love Instead of Hate

I'm tired of hating. Think I'm gonna try unconditional love from now on. Meaning, loving everything, whether 'good' or 'evil'. All parts of the same whole. Even Jesus said love your enemies. So, I love the politicians and the lawyers. The corporations and the terrorists. Do they not deserve love, too? I'm so tired of judgement. Causes nothing but trouble and war. I'm done. Love to all! Acceptance to all! Peace.

Crow Painting Digital

I love my crows. :) This was done on the computer. Digital painting is really fun! It's only limited by the imagination.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Butterfly Digi-Painting

I painted this with SumoPaint online. It's such a neat program, I've actually done a few paintigs with it. It's so much fun, and there's no cleaning up afterwards. :)

I wanted to paint butterflies, because they are simply beautiful creatures and I love them. Yep. :D

Regarding the Bigger Picture

Okay, my mind is going nonstop! I need to get these thoughts out, because it helps relieve some of the pressure when I write them down. And where better to release my inner most thoughts, than on my personal art blog? Sounds reasonable enough to me. :)

I am so over this world. Like, if a man with a gun were to come into a gas station while I was in there, I would walk straight over to him and tell him to shoot me dead! It’s not a crazy thought. I’m quite justified in my not wanting to be here anymore. But I’m not going to take my own life. So, I just have to hope that someone else feels like doing it.

Regarding the bigger picture… I don’t give a shit anymore. Or, at least, I’m well on my way towards not giving a shit.

My personality is one of caring about people and being sensitive to the world and its energy, whether positive or negative, and always wanting to love and be loved. But, this sensitivity has caused me to ride this awesome rollercoaster of feeling so happy I could fly, and then plunging down into the deepest of depressions I think a human being can ever know. What a way to be. Wouldn’t suggest it for anyone. It involves a lot of self inflicted pain: spiritual, mental, and physical.

I’ve always seen through bullshit. Granted, I’ve let myself be deceived a number of times, but I always admit when I have been wrong, and move on, continuing my search for truth. But fuck if the real truth ain’t hard to find! I mean, there’s so much disinfo crap out there, that my brain gets so tired of having to sift through all of it, just so I can find a rare nugget here and there.

I don’t know why I’m so damn curious about everything. ‘Why?’ is my question of choice, among all the other words that lead into questions. I have a deep urge to question EVERYTHING, and to not stop searching till I’ve found a satisfactory answer to my inquiry. Which, I rarely ever find a satisfactory answer. It seems like there are a lot of bits and pieces of truth scattered here and there, but finding someone who can take those pieces and form them into a grand sensible whole seems to be an impossible feat. Maybe the person to do that is me? I mean, maybe there was a reason for me not dying way back when I attempted to kill myself those 3 times.  Could it be possible that I’ve found my purpose in life??? Ha, not likely.

Feelings of grandeur and specialness are tempting for those who aren’t hypnotized by the mass mind control going on on this planet. I admit, sometimes I’ll read my facebook page and what all the ‘sheeple’ are talking about, and standing on my pedestal, I’ll laugh at their ignorance and blindness. Silly humans, can’t you see what I see? Why do you fall for all these lies and manipulative mind tricks? But then, I think, “Hmm, I’m judging them. Now, how spiritual is that?”

I mean, fuck. I’m so goddamn aware, tolerant, and open-minded, that it’s even hard to get angry at stupid people anymore. Actually, sometimes it’s not hard. It’s very easy, really. But, then my spirit kicks my butt and tells me, “We all can be traced back to one source, so they are you and you are them, and you don’t know what all these people you are judging have been through. Can you put yourself in their shoes? If you had been born with that personality and had the same upbringing, and had been through the same shit that person had, how would you be?” Valid questions, spirit, I see what you’re saying. *sigh*

I’m just tired. Tired of questions that lead to nowhere. Tired of battling with my mind, spirit, and ego. Tired of caring what other people think or do, and caring how they might perceive what I think or do. Tired of hearing people’s opinions about stuff they haven’t really taken the time to objectively research. Tired of reality being subjective to the individual being. Tired of not being able to fly! Ugh, that’s the worst thing!!! Why the hell do I have to be bound by gravity? It really sucks feeling trapped in this human body.

I’m to the point of saying none of this shit matters!!! Really, Linkin Park said it best: “In the end, it doesn’t even matter.” We’re all going to die one day, right? Why are we worrying about Armageddon, the Illuminati, politics, chemtrails, aliens, shills, demonic and negative entities, Big Brother, fluoride, poisonous food, martial law, surviving after the shtf, or any of that other stuff that entertains my mind so much? None of us are getting out of this alive! (Or, at least, as far as I’m aware, we aren’t) And even if we transcend to the fourth or fifth dimension, as some have claimed, the same logic applies. Wtf does any of it really matter? Why waste energy on fighting for your cause or trying to prove that your view of reality is the right view and everyone else is ignorant? I’m just not going to worry about any of it anymore. Not worth it. Whatever happens, happens, I could care less. Or, at least I’m trying to get to a point of consistency on that thought. Some days I seem to care more than others. Lol, not today, though. :)

Here's a picture to illustrate my reality ^_^